Sunday, July 17, 2011

Why are we anxious?

pourquoi sommes nous inquiets

In this beginning of the year, we would all like to think that we will live the next months in happiness, joy and by always laughing. In fact, the reasons to be happy are not lacking, just to quote a few examples: to take pleasure in making our spouse happy, sharing many hours with our children, trying to become a better person ... Whatever we decide to do: it must be in good spirits and with a real desire to succeed. Then, come what will come.

Nevertheless, despite this positive outlook, the reality may catch up with us sooner than expected and precisely with the people around us. To make our spouse happy might be more difficult than it seemed; our children can make us understand that they prefer to play with their friends; working on our middoth (traits of character) does not necessarily means to improve them rapidly ...

In addition, in some cases we are faced with a fait accompli. An unexpected dismissal from our job and it is our world which falls apart. A bad report from our doctor and it is our physical ability to function that is called into question. Our spouse tells us that he-she wants to leave us and suddenly, decades disappear. The university where we wanted to go - and where we have finally been accepted - is disappointing and we do not know what to do ...

If we are not careful, all these situations are likely to let us frustrated, irritated and - worse - desperate, G-d forbid. Thus, either it is a specific question which we don't find the answer or a slap in the face that we do not know how to forget, the positive feelings from the beginning of the year may be a wildfire.

Why should we be disappointed?

Either we want it or not, we have many decisions to make during the course of our lives. Some are harder than others and depending on the degree of difficulty, our decision takes more or less time to be taken. Sometimes we think we know what we should do, but we lack courage tot take the appropriate decision. The fear of nothingness, the unknown, our chronic lack of self-confidence ... All these factors have their importance and not to take them into account is not very smart.

The Master of the world knows us very well. Is not He who formed us? These doubts and questions we ask ourselves are our "natural weakness" whom reason is known: to motivate us to turn to Hashem to ask for His help. The prayers which come from the heart are the most beautiful a Jewish soul can pronounce!

Often, it's to help us to make the leap that G-d presents us with a fait accompli. Were we thinking about accepting a job offer - with a lower salary than we have now - but where we could follow  the Jewish holidays? Our indecision led Heaven to show us the way: the dismissal letter that we received is the good news of the day. We now know the path we must follow!

Our path toward Hashem had become difficult because of the systematic opposition  from our spouse? Despite all our prayers to continue along this road together, his-her unexpected decision to leave us may be a heavenly liberation! Freed from a negative spirit, we can now move forward in great strides (of course, this example does not mean that divorce is preferable to the efforts of conciliation).

We did our best to be accepted into a prestigious university. Ultimately, it turns out not to match our expectations: the mood in the classroom is gloomy, the lessons are not of excellent quality and the results of examinations not very good. Without doubt, Hashem tells us that it is time to think for ourselves about a different path.

All these examples should be taken for what they are: general remarks which must be adapted to each of us. However, if we can understand that the difficult decisions we must sometimes take - or the ones we have to assume - have no reason to worry us or to cause us to be anxious, we will have discovered a great idea in our lives.

The child who feels ready to walk alone let loose the hand of his father. If it is too timid to do it, his father makes the decision for him. Hashem is our Father and He expects us to take the right decisions. When we are slow to take them, He hides himself behind words or actions of individuals who are around us. By doing this, He shows us His extreme kindness.

The conclusion is simple: let's be brave and not hesitate to take appropriate decisions in our life (after being well advised). On the other hand, if we are a little shy, Heaven will help us to take them anyway!

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